Pooping Sessions
by Maldorana
Summary: I guess this could be considered as a Maleval little crackfic. Enjoy!


**I'm publishing this to make you wait until I get better and keep on with the next chapter of Comfort Only ^^ It is in fact the first Maleval fanfiction I wrote, inspired by a very funny Maleval fanart, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to publish it, but there it is ^^**

"Diaval, if you don't stop your incessant questioning, I'll turn you into a dog for the rest of the day," she threatened.

He exhaled with irritation, and stayed silent. He never should have mentioned his disgust at the idea… Yes, he's been more and more curious about this whole Stefan thing, lately. He hated the guy, because his mistress hated him and because he suspected him to have something to do with the fact that his mistress couldn't fly anymore. But after a couple of weeks, hating him together, he just wanted to be sure why. Was that too much to ask?

Maleficent sighted deeply. He was being far too reckless these days, and she didn't like that. She wasn't going to open to anyone, him included.

If she had to, she'd look for another less bothersome bird to save, and leave the raven be. After all, it wasn't like she appreciated him that much or something.  
However, something inside her wanted to dig a little more about what he was up to…

"Why on earth would you want to know that, anyway?"

"To get to know you better!" He said, thinking it obvious.

At this, she glanced at him with quizzical eyes, but proceeded without showing anything more than pure annoyance.

"Yes, but why?"

"Isn't that obvious? You're my mistress. You're important to me, so I want to know you better. It's only normal, don't you think?" The raven turned man said with a genuine yet impatient voice.

The fairy raised an eyebrow at this with a puzzled expression. Just _what_ did he say? She was_ important_ to him? She didn't believe in that kind of thing anymore. He was just a man, toying with her emotions again, before striking. She definitely had to get rid of him. Maybe changing him into a human too often made him act like one?

By watching his mistress's face darkening, it seemed to Diaval that he should have chosen a better way to put this. Maybe with a little mood-enhancing story? So he added before she could react.

"_That_ and I'd like to know the reason for me pooping on him every now and then when I go spying at the castle." He simply explained.

Maleficent stayed silent for a few seconds, giving the information the time to sink in. Then, all of a sudden, she burst out laughing. She wasn't picturing Stefan parading in front of his subjects with a bird's poop on his head, really, but it was the way it popped up that was amusing her. At this very moment, she couldn't help but admit that Diaval really was a diverting companion, and she blew away all the doubts she had a minute before about him.

The raven turned man chuckled lightly, and he couldn't refrain to watch her laugh with a soft smile on his face. It was the first time ever he saw her laughing so genuinely, and he was glad to think it was all because of him. She seemed so carefree, so unlike her usual self. He definitely had to try and make her laugh more often.

"I never asked you this." She finally said, suppressing a laugh.

"I know. It just looked like he caused you a great deal of pain, and as it seems I can't do anything to help, I just choose to make him pay… raven's way."

The fairy couldn't help but keep on laughing. It was so crazy, so stupid and yet it made so much sense.

"My god Diaval, you'll never cease to surprise me." She said, calming down a little.

"All in good, yes?" He inquired with an expressive simplicity.

"Yes. All in good. Silly bird." She chuckled.

She smiled at him. Here he was, happy with his mischief, expecting a gentle word from his mistress. She felt something weird when she saw him smile back. She felt she could trust him, that his loyalty would never weaken. But of course, she brushed the feeling away. All right, she won't replace him with some other bird, but still, she had to keep him at distance. She was resolved to not letting anyone betray her again, so she had to avoid any kind of attachment.

However, for now the fairy was on the mood for a funny story. It wasn't like she was going to bond with her servant in one, maybe two hours, was it?

"So, will you tell me more about these pooping sessions?"

He laughed. This was the first time she'd ever asked about something not spying related. Well, it _was_ spying related, sort of… Anyway, he seized the occasion. If he was to tell her a story, wasn't she supposed to do the same?

"Only if you tell me what happened." He said in a soft voice.

Her eyes darkened and she raised her arm to change him back into a raven. She had found out since the first day that it was the very best way to make him shut up. Knowing what she was about to do – by now, the raven turned man knew the look on her face when she was about to change him out of anger – he yelped and added quickly:

"Not necessarily right now!"

She glanced at him suspiciously, her hand in mid-air.

"You can tell me tomorrow, or the day after. I just..." He sighed and looked at his feet. "I need to know what happened to you, mistress." He remorsefully pointed out.

Maleficent gazed at him during what felt like hours. When his eyes met hers, she finally nodded. A few minutes later, he was starting his first pooping story, hoping to lighten the mood. He was definitely going to make her laugh again.

**Thank you DancingKitKat for beta-reading ^^ I'm considering writing a chapter 2 for this one.  
**


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